HYC - Week 4 - Take the bad with the good...

This past week wasn't my greatest week. I gained 1.4lbs, which considering some of the stuff I ate isn't to bad. Im finding that when Im out at restaurants its really hard to make good choices. I think first of all there isnt that many healthy options, and also that I feel a little rushed so just make a quick decision, which is usually an unhealthy one. I also have been indulging in the fruity, ice cream alcoholic drinks, which we all know is not a smart choice!

So Im on a mission. To conquer eating out. Well maybe not conquer it just yet, but at least make some strides in being successful in my choices. I plan to research restaurants online before I get there. I will have more time to find a healthier options. I also plan to make up my own meal. I don't necessarily have to chose what they have on the menu, I can mix and match. I also am putting a stop to the fruity drinks. If I want, I can enjoy a lite beer. If you have any other suggestions on how to be successful eating out, Id love to hear them!

I mentioned before how I am doing a support group in regards to my healthy lifestyle with some friends as well. Well when you gain weight you get a pig sticker on our graph. I got one this week, and 2 other girls did to. We have made a pact that when we are out together we are to help each other make healthier choices, we were doing the complete opposite!

So Ill have good weeks, and Ill have bad weeks. Its just part of the game. Its what I do after those bad days, and bad weeks that matter. Brush myself off, and keep on moving. The bad eating went hand in hand with lack of exercise last week, so I have committed to only 2 rest days, no matter what this week. Re-focusing, its gets a little bit easier every time ;)

HYC - Week 3 - Realizations

I had a FANTASTIC week! One of those weeks where you are pumped to jump on that scale. And it was down 2.4 pounds. WOOHOO! I really focused this week - on what I ate, and consistency on my workouts. And it paid off.

Ive come to a few realizations this week. Things I knew in the back of my head, but either was ignoring them, or maybe didnt truly believe them. The first one is exercising definitely helps depression. I would say that I currently have a mild case of depression that phases in and out from day to day. Usually Im depressed so dont want to work out. Id rather just be depressed. Well this week I really focused, and said I can give a 20 minute workout. It is just 20 minutes. So Ive been doing the Jillian Michaels DVD 30 Day Shred, that I talked about last week. (Im ready to move to level 2 today, by the way...traveling pushups here I come!) She really pushes you hard in those 20 minutes and I think its just what I needed. I worked out 5 times last week, and could feel how happy I was each day. It was really noticeable because Ill admit, happiness is not a thing I feel often these days. I like that feeling, so I wanted to do the workouts each day. I also liked being pushed by Jillian so I looked forward to trying harder with each workout. The crazy thing is I knew this is what exercise would do, but avoided it. Taking control of my happiness, that is exactly what Im doing. Being sad all the time can be exhausting.

Another thing I realized this week is support is a partial factor to my success. I need the accountability. I also need the tough love. And I got just that! Ill never eat another tator tot in my life! I got reamed a good one on that! When I have to report in what Im eating, my workouts, and what I weigh...it definitely is making the world of difference. Just being able to talk to friends about my struggles, and hear they are having the same struggles is really helpful. Also hearing what works for one person, and how it may just work for me is a bonus. Im so thankful for the support I have during this journey, because it definitely keeps me going on those bad days!

I havent felt this geeked about exercising and eating in a long time. It feels awesome. I cant wait to see what the upcoming weeks bring. Hopefully melted snow and warmer temps so I can start running outside! That half marathon is coming up sooner than I think! And I have a time to beat!

While the last 8 months have been a whirlwind of emotions, I have definitely fallen off track. On my mental and physical health. Enough is enough. Its time to take back control. I deserve to be happy, and my dad would want that! Sure Ill have pitfalls along the way, but Ill just brush myself off and go back at it again. Growth...its an amazing thing, dont you think?

Bird Is The Word

So I have mixed feelings on "adult" cartoons. Such as South Park, adult swim, The Family Guy, etc. I find a few of the episodes funny, but for the most part have never really cared to watch them. Grant loves them, and honestly I can say the more I watch them with him the more Im starting to like them. They are growing on me I suppose.

So I remember him talking about this episode of The Family Guy, The Bird Is The Word. When he was telling me about it, I said...that sounds so stupid! Well I just watched it, and guess what? It was fricken hilarious. I couldnt stop laughing at it!

The dad plays this song out of the jukebox while at a diner, and starts dancing and singing around the restaurant. And the owner at the restaurant takes the record out, and the dad talks the guy into giving him the record. So he plays the record over and over, singing it over and over. And will start a conversation, and say things like, you didnt hear? Oh the bird bird bird, the bird is the word. LOL Everytime he went into singing it, I couldnt help but start laughing. LOL Hilarious! This reminds me of Pee Wee Herman, he use to sing this on his show when I was a kid. Tee Hee.

Heres the video...enjoy a good laugh.


Family Guy - The Bird's the Word - Click here for another funny movie.


Well everybody's heard, about the bird !
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Everybody's heard, about the bird !
Everybody's heard, about the bird !

Don't you know about the bird?
Well everybody's heard, about the bird !

Okay silly time over, time for bed. Ill sing myself to sleep with this one. :p

Dealing With My Negativity

So earlier this week over lunch, a coworker who also is a good friend of mine informed me that Im to negative. She said I should try to be more positive, and I may be surprised with the results. I said really, you think I am? And than another friend also said the same thing to me, in a more casual way though. And than I thought to myself...I know I can show some negativity, doesnt everyone have a little bit? But I didnt realize I was coming off so strong, with no positivity at all! It was a little embarrassing actually. And hard to hear!

So I asked Grant his thoughts, and he said...well you have been complaining a lot, so it could come off like that. And when I think about the last few weeks, and months....I thought hes absolutely right. I know Im going through a weird period with depression enter and leaving at random times....but maybe Im drawing into the depression a little more than I should. That whole dark feeling comes, and I let myself get swallowed into it, resulting in complaining, negativity, etc. Ive turned into that girl....the one that complains till shes blue in the face, but doesnt change anything to make her situation any better. Just loves to play the woe is me role. Yep, that is me. Talk about a slap in the face!

There are a few people in my life right now that are pretty negative, and I probably feed into that a bit as well. I like these people though, so its not like I dont want to be friends with them. Its just who they are, and I accept that. Take the good with the bad. I will admit I do sometimes think when listening to them complain...it must take so much energy to be so negative. Little did I know someone is thinking that about me! So now that its been brought to my attention, Im going to be more conscious of this. Not let every little thing get to me, and look at the glass half full instead of half empty!

So I found this article that seems pretty helpful, and thought I would share :) 2 out of 5 steps completed, so I guess Im on my way.

The first step in any sort of change is recognizing that you have a problem. If you realize that you are a negative person, congratulations! You have made the most important step in changing yourself into a more positive, likeable, and happy person.

Here are some suggestions for positive change: Ask a person whose judgment you trust if you are a negative person. Ask them to answer truthfully. If the answer is "yes," ask them to be specific. Ask them for an example of times when you have been hypercritical, using negative talk about others or just "moaning and groaning." Look for any apparent patterns in the topics you are negative about.

You may not like what you hear, but remember that this feedback is precious. It gives you the basic building blocks to begin your own person transformation.

Practice catching yourself each time you become aware of being negative. This takes time; remember you are trying to break an entrenched habit that you may have had for many years. Learning to recognize negativity, then stop it, gives you control over your thought patterns and ultimately your life.

Remind yourself how your negativity damages important relationships in your life. Nobody wants to be around someone who is guaranteed to bring them down, anytime, anywhere. Don't let yourself be that person. By becoming aware of your negative practices and slowly changing yourself to become more positive and optimistic, you will feel happier within yourself, experience less stress, and attract new friends who actually enjoy your company.

Look for the good in everything. There are few incidences in life that do not have a positive flip-side, no matter how dire the circumstances. Make it a habit to look for that silver lining. You don't have to be a Pollyanna. It is okay to acknowledge negative things when they occur, but try also to make a conscientious effort to see the positive. Your friends will love you for your new sunny character!

Michigan Winter - Bleh!

So Winter is upon us, and I can accept that. It does come every year, so its not like woah where did this come from?

Now last winter was very, very mild. I remember that I ran outside the entire winter, and not once thought it was to cold where I couldnt breathe, or the snow derailed me from my runs. This year totally different story. Its like 10 times the opposite of last year, and Im not liking it one bit.

Ive never been much of a winter person. I hibernate in the winter. Im very happy inside, snuggled under a blanket, with a cup of peppermint hot chocolate. Or Baileys on the rocks :p When people say what about winter sports? I chuckle and say, nope thats not for me. Im fine just staying right inside in the warmth. Skiing? Great Ill hang out by the fireplace in the cabin. LOL Although a few friends are trying to get me out there this year...so lets see how successful they are!

Now the cold temps, I can handle. Layer, and invest in warm winter clothes and your all set. Snow, I dont mind. Sure its annoying when your at the end of March and its still snowing. Heck sometimes its even May! But I can appreciate the snow. I love the watching a snowfall, especially the big fluffy flakes. And I dont mind driving it to much, as long as Im not driving long distance. The snow and cold together is nice sometimes. Makes the cold a little bit more manageable.

But what I cant handle is what is happening now. These freezing temperatures with the snow falling and causing icy conditions. Ice, now that is something I hate! Today it got to -12 at one point, but for the most stayed right around 1 or 2 degrees. The snow was that light slow snow, that looks like it wouldnt cause much. Unless the temps are freezing. Than it makes for a very slick situation. So as I drove home on a sheet of ice, I white knuckled it all the way home. It took me over an hour to drive a 15 minute route. By the time I got home, I only had time to literally throw something in my mouth for dinner, and than head back out to class. A 10 minute drive that took 40 minutes. On the way home it wasnt as bad, but as you were driving on the freeway you could see the tracks of ice, and there was no avoiding it. So as you slowly work your way home you can feel your tires being pulled left and right from the ice. Its nerve wrecking!

And to think, its only mid January! Oy, its going to be a long WINTER!

Picture Tag

So Megan tagged me a few days ago, and Im just now getting around to it :) The game goes like this....go to your 4th folder (where your pictures are stored) and find the 4th picture….and post it. then explain it.


Well there you see my great photography skills :p This was one of the best nights of my life, because it was the night I got engaged!!!! Grant and I just came home from a wonderful week long vacation in Arizona, and had a concert the night we got back in town. It was the Newton Faulkner concert, and just happened to be on my birthday to. I tried to capture a few shots of Newton, but with the lighting I wasnt so successful. As you can see! LOL

Just shortly after this picture was taking, Grant pulled me to the side during the song Dream Catch Me, said a very sweet speech, and popped the question :) I was so lucky to meet Newton Faulkner a few months later and tell him the news. Which he thought was pretty cool :)

P.S. Thanks Megan, I was just thinking about what I should blog about tonight....and no tagging since I dont think I have that many readers. LOL

HYC Week 2 - Focus

Another week has gone by, and I lost .80. Its all good. Something is better than nothing! I was fighting off a cold this week, so stayed home from work for a few days. And thats always an eating disaster. I finally got to offset the bad eating with a few workouts on the weekend, so was happy the way the week ended.

There is a new LA Fitness opening a few miles from my house. I went and checked out what I could (just a small office is open with billboards of the facility), and the rates are great. I wasnt sticker shocked at all! Im going to wait a few more weeks and see if they give even better rates. But defitenly signing up. This facility is HUGE! Swimming pool, 2 floors of cardio and weight machines, basketball court, aerobic room, spinning has its own room, and 3 or 4 racquet ball courts. No contract, and all classes are included in the monthly price. Sweet! Im super excited about the grand opening, which isnt for another month. So to tie me over till than, I picked up the Jillian Michaels DVD - 30 Day Shred. Ive heard some great reviews on this DVD, and always love a good Jillian workout.

This DVD has 3 levels, 2o minute workout on each level. You start at level one and when you feel your ready move on to level 2. Its only a 2o minute workout but its a high intensity circuit style workout. Each level has 3 circuits. 3 minutes of strengthening, 2 minutes of cardio, and 1 minute of abs. And she doesnt let you rest either! I started it today, and I made it through level 1, panting but I made it :) Im excited to move on to level 2 in the upcoming weeks!

Wedding dress body....here I COME!

Im still struggling with my food, but Im definitely more aware of my choices. And taking baby steps everyday. Being conscious of what I put in my mouth, and being held accountable for it definitely helps! I got ripped a good one at our Sunday weigh in. Tough love by some friends, got to love it. Im so not being the one who gets put on blast next week!

I can feel that fire building in me. Im feeling motivated, and looking forward to a healthy year! I havent felt this in a long time, so I hope its here to stay. At least for a little while :)

Flashbacks and Emotions

Sometimes you see things, and dont really think twice about them. Than an event happens, and an object you once saw and didnt give a second thought to just changes. That is how I feel about ambulances. Especially when they are in front of a house, and you see a stretcher outside the door.

Today when I was running up to the store, the corner house on my street had an ambulance in front of it. As I looked at the house as I passed it, I saw a stretcher in front of the door. Flashback. It takes me right back to that horrible day in May. I prayed that whoever that stretcher for was okay, or that they didnt even need the stretcher after all. If something was wrong, please dont let that family go through what I went through not to long ago. Please. When I came home 10 minutes later, the stretcher was being moved inside.

I have so many unresolved emotions about that morning. Flashbacks seem to bring these emotions up everytime, where they feel like fresh wounds once again. These are things I keep to myself (well I do share them with Grant so not completely to myself), and at this point cant seem to let go. I know the ambulance was not called right away, so of course I wonder what if. Once one what if starts, they seem like they are never ending. What if the ambulance was called sooner? Could he have been saved? Why wasnt the ambulance called sooner? What was she thinking? Were those paramedics the best we could have gotten? Why didnt she know he took a whole bottle of nitro in 10 days? How could she not know? Why didnt he tell her? Was he scared? Was he really ready to go? Did he know how much I loved him? Does he know how much my heart aches? Why was he taken at the best time in our relationship? Why? Why? Why?! And the lists goes on. I know I cant agonize over these what ifs. I will make myself to go crazy if I do. I understand this is part of the grieving process, but when will I get over this and accept that he is gone? Will I ever reach the acceptance stage in the grieving process?

I often wonder what the acceptance stage feels like. Will I know when Ive arrived? Once you reach that stage, have you completed the grieving process? Or does it start all over again? Sometimes it actually does feel like Ive accepted, and Ill be doing great for a few weeks. Than BAM! It hits me like a ton of bricks, and Im back at square one. This is such a complicated, HARD, thing to go through. Its very conflicting and confusing. But isnt that what life is?

Back to the what if questions....as these questions raced through my head like the Tasmanian devil...I just let them take their course. Normally this would result in some very unhealthy behaviors. Emotional eating, drinking alcohol, etc. Not realizing till after the fact, I didnt do any unhealthy act this time. Sure I let the sadness sit for a little while, as I kept thinking about that house on the corner. Than I reached out to my best support I have, Grant. We took some us time, and I felt better. It feels like progress. But I know each time the grief hits, its different. Everytime I react different, everytime the level of intensity of is different. But this is life now. Life is different, and that is okay. I'll be okay. I have to be. Damn I miss him so much.

The Power Of A Smile

A smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight.

- V. Borge

Isnt that a great quote? I thought so :) Today as I was making my way through the halls at work, thinking about how craptastic I felt, and how I wish I was somewhere else I passed a woman. She smiled at me, and said hi. I smiled back. Than as I rounded the corner I passed a guy, and he smiled to. I smiled bigger at him. Most of the time walking through the halls at work you rarely get a look let alone a smile! Something about those smiles just put me in a better mood.

It is so true that a smile can really change a persons day. Its such a small act that makes the world of difference. As I contemplated this as I walked backup to my department, I decided that this month I will focus on doing that small act of kindness - smiling. When I start to get grumpy over something so silly (like oversleeping), I will smile. Great way to start the day, with a positive face! Or when that guy cuts me off on the freeway, Ill just keep smiling. People on the road will love the less road rage from me :p It will be interesting to see the results it brings to me. When Im in public or at work, and passing people I will also give everyone (well Ill try everyone) a nice friendly smile. Maybe Ill help make one persons day a little bit brighter. Just like those two people did to me today :)

Consistency Experiment

So I have come to realize that I spend way to much time on the internet, so why not make some of that time worthwhile? If Im on the internet all the time, why dont I just blog? Thats a great question. Sometimes I dont feel like I have anything interesting to say, or am to depressed to put together the words. I also have a little bit of a problem with consistency. As you probably have read on my previous workout blog entries. :embarassed: So I got this great idea from a blog I read by Jenne, who is blogging every day.

So I thought Id try a little consistency experiment by blogging everyday this month starting today. And it wont be just a one liner, joke, or anything like that. It will be a worthy entry. Who knows what topics will be covered, and it may just be just rambling, but it will be something. I think it can only be beneficial in the end. And maybe steer me away from mindless web browsing and actually deal with some of my thoughts.

I have lots of thoughts racing through my mind these days, and I bet it would be good to get them out of my head and into some other place. Maybe Ill be able to actually shut my brain off when I try to go to sleep, and even sleep better. And who knows what I may discover in the process. Consistency blogging can lead to consistency in many other areas of my life. Boy do I need that! Miss. Procrastinator over here. So this is the first goal Ive posted for 2009, to be more consistent. (geez could I say consistent one more time in this entry?) Check back in and see how I did :) I may just surprise us both!

HYC Week 1 - New Year

Well I made it through the holidays, and came out in one piece! LOL Im happy to say that I maintained my weight, which is a huge bonus thinking back on the foods I shoveled into my mouth!

Something about the New Year always feels refreshing to me. New Year, New Goals, New Beginnings. I know a lot of people look at New Years resolutions as so cliche. But Im so drawn to them. I still am working on what new goals I will have this year, but will post them once they are complete.

Some friends and I have started a little weight watchers type group. We are meeting every Sunday morning to weigh in together. And than we have a little meeting to go over any troubles we are having, and support each other. I think the accountability of the group, along with the great supportive healthy you challengers...this has to be my year!