Holiday Workout Challenge

Hiatuses are overrated dont you think? Ive missed my blog! :)

So a friend of mine invited me to join a Holiday Workout Challenge on Facebook. Its an 8 week challenge from November 1st to December 26th. Each participant made individual goals they would like to meet, and we also committed to 30 minute workouts, 5 days a week. And if you follow all the rules there is even an drawing to win some fitness prizes. And its FREE to participate. Pretty cool eh?

I wasnt sure how I would do with 5 days of workouts. That is a large commitment especially with my school and work schedule. Not to mention that before the challenge my workouts were very inconsistent. But I was up for the challenge. Especially anything that keeps me motivated through the holidays!

Here are the goals I made:

• I am committing to 5 days of workouts, with 3 of those running.
• Drop one size, and stay off the scale!
• Scale down my pop intake! Im going to start off with one 20 ounce every other day, and hope to be at zero by the end of the challenge!

I have to admit I got off to a rocky start. Than again I was on vacation that first week of the challenge. So tried not to stress to much about it. When I got back it did take a couple of weeks, but once I said enough is enough, I gave it everything I could. I finally had some motivation to get to those 5:45am cycling classes! And now I cant see starting off my Monday and Wednesday mornings any other way! On other days I have been running or doing a circuit/strength training DVD at home. I'm happy to say that I am now in my fourth week of 5 day workouts! It really does feel like part of my day now. Its a habit! I never thought I would be saying that. I just feel healthier. I haven't dropped much weight, but that's okay. Because I feel thinner. I feel stronger. I feel like I'm making better choices. And that's what its all about!

Now that pop goal...yeah that hasn't been going so great. So I think for these last few weeks Ill really try to focus on that a little bit better ;)

Choices...

Everything we do is a choice. Good Choice. Bad Choice. Sooner or later we get sick of making bad choices right? I think Ive finally reached that point.

I have had a pretty rough emotional day. Some personal stuff going on. That of course reflects into my daily life. So many thoughts going through my head. So many scenarios. So many questions. Its overwhelming to say the least. Today I started to get a migraine around lunchtime. I was eating through out the day, and drinking lots of water....so Im assuming it was stress. Once the migraine hit, my energy felt zapped. It was a little warm in the office today so that may have added to my blah feeling. Its frustrating that Im taking these steps to a healthier me, and Im feeling anything but healthy. I know it will take a few weeks to "detox", but geez these withdrawals are rough.

As I was leaving work I had a choice to make. Go to the gym or go home. The gym is now literally on the way home, so no excuses. I said well this migraine is really rough....but I could at least go and do 30 minutes. Or I could just stop, get a Slurpee, and go home to take a nap. As I was playing these mind games with myself....I found myself getting off the freeway exit to the gym. So my choice was to go to gym. I decided I would jog on the treadmill. Right when I started I could feel my feet getting very heavy. I promised myself to just push through a mile and I would stop. Some days you just dont have it in you...but you still push through it. You give it all you got. And that is exactly what I did. I made it 15 minutes on the treadmill, and than did another 20 on the elliptical. Phew, I made it. Good choice today. Ill take it.

As I move into this healthier lifestyle, a move I have made many times before, I have to remind myself that everything is a choice. Every thing I chose to eat, everything I chose to drink, every activity I chose to do. All of it are factors in this lifestyle. So do I chose to keep making the same mistakes, or do I chose to make me a healthier happier me?

I have a obsession with quotes these days...and this one sums this post up perfect.

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein

Boy is that true.....I think Im ready to be sane :) And on that note, Im making another great choice. Heading to bed early so I can get a good nights sleep. Night blogger friends :)

Goodbye February, Hello March

February was a pretty decent month for me, but I am glad to see it go. Only because it takes us one month closer to Spring! Im so over this winter. While we havent seen the amount of snow the east coast has...its been enough for me. Warmer temps, sunshine, melted snow, no ice...sounds just about perfect to me!

So want to hear some results on my fantastic February? Of course you do! Now exercise wise I had a fabulous month! I ended up with 24 workouts! Can I get a Woot! Woot! Here is the breakdown:

Not to shabby. I died out the last week due to these nasty sinus infection Ive been fighting. I felt it hitting on Tuesday night and Wednesday and Thursday I was down for the count. Friday I tried to pull it out and felt decent, but Saturday and today I felt like absolute crap while running! Im hoping that this is the last of it. I feel better...but its all that phlegm that is keeping me down!

Now for weight and measurements. I took them this morning...so here is my 30 day update:

Weight: Down 4.5 lbs
Waist: Down 0.5 inch
Mid Belly: Down 2 inches (this is where most of my weight is)
Bust: Down 0.5 inch
Under Bust: Down 1 inch

Am I happy with this? Im always happy with a loss. But its a little frustrating. If I had a healthy thyroid I have no doubt the numbers would have been a bit higher. But slow and steady wins the race I suppose. I just have to keep at it, and stay consistent. Eventually Ill get where I want to be. Now that I feel comfortable with my workout schedule, I will try more this month to work on the diet aspect. It can always use some work!

I am very happy with the way I feel these days. I feel strong again, fit, and my moods have been great. That alone is such an amazing thing!

So lets see what March brings. I know a St. Pattys 5k is on the agenda :)

Its All About Finding Something You Love

And I LOVE cycling class!!!! I would always hear people say, when you find an exercise you really love, than working out will be fun! I use to think that was to good to be true. :p

Ive been dealing with some difficult times at work, that have resulted in my stress levels being out of control. Ive heard some rumors that the 5:30 cycling class is more intense than the 6:45 class I currently attend. I was a little intimidated to try it, but after one of my oh so stressful days at work I decided I needed to get my ass kicked. And that I did! I have now moved this class up as a high priority on my weekly workout schedule :) So much I even got up at 8am on Saturday to go to this instructors class! Now that is really out of character for me. Who is this girl? And what did you do with Melissa? LOL

I really felt like I was going to keel over in this workout. This class is a whole different ballgame than what Im use to! At one point I thought to myself..I may need to walk out! But I took it one song at a time, and tried to keep up with the resistance she had us at. As challenging as that was! Now I may not as been as fast as everyone, but I did what I could. Definitely an A for effort, IMO! No worries though, Ill get there someday. We all need goals to strive for ;) I LOVED her song selections to. It really helps you get into the workout. The best part of the workout was the very end...right when I felt like I didnt have anything left in me. We were doing sprints to the song, Best of You by the Foo Fighters. This song was perfect for the work day I had. I closed my eyes, and just let the music sprint me away.





Dont you love moments like that? Its like that moment is just speaking to you and helping you push through one of the million things clouding up your head!

I really like the way she runs her class to. She pushes us with the moves rather than screaming in her headset. There would be a few times she would vocally push us but it always felt like it was right at the moment I needed it. I really prefer that. I hate being screamed at...it pierces my ears!

Im so excited, and looking forward to each class. I love being pushed to my limits, and have fun while doing it! I didnt think I would ever say that! Im loving the growth and changes Im making. LOVING IT!

Going Strong

Despite feeling a little off physically this week, Im still going strong! I usually can tell when my thyroid level is low, and usually Ill just sleep, sleep, and sleep some more. But Ive decided to do just the opposite. Regardless of how tired or exhausted I am, I still am trying to stick to my workout plan. So far, so good. Im right on schedule.

It feels good to be on a regular active schedule. Not only does it help my moods and release stress, but I can feel myself getting more fit. Sure not every workout feels top notch, but every workout gives me more confidence! Im half looking at myself in the mirror these days. :) Im experiencing, one again, the ups and downs of workouts. I love that great workout where I feel I can conquer the world. And those struggling workouts are just as great to. When I push through those barriers, I again feel on top of the world. My run today was like that. My legs have been achy, especially my knees. And it felt like I could feel every step through my entire body. When I got to 2 miles I just didnt know how Id make it another mile. Than the music carried me through once again. I was listening to some techno, Beckers and Hatfield....a track called Excuses (Weekend Heros Remix), and it just picked me up.




Techno never lets me down! Seriously its like it knew I needed to hear it at that point. A light bulb clicked, and I picked up the pace. At one point I wanted to just start pumping my fists in the air. Ahhh, dont you just love music?! It got me through that last mile...and I felt fanfuckingtastic when I was done. Now Im really exhausted...guess who will be getting a good nights sleep tonight?! Im sure Ill sleep like a baby :)

Weigh in was yesterday, and I was down 1.5 lbs. Not to shabby. I was happy to see a loss, after last weeks weigh in.

But still only 1.5 lbs in two weeks isnt anything to scream off the top of the mountain. My food needs some serious improvement. That combined with my workouts...I could seem some great results! I need to get a plan in place to work on that....

Well thats all she wrote folks. Time for bed.

Reaching For The Stars

Last night I was searching the interweb for info on Jillian Michaels book, Master Your Metabolism. Someone recently told me she suffered from hypothyroid. I am intrigued.

For the record, I heart Jillian Michaels. <3

I found quite a few reviews on the book, and they all had one thing in common. This book is a must read! Some even said its one of the best health books out there. This is Jillians way of getting out what worked best for her, and if I ever get to that point I think I would want to do the same thing! Im open to reading about anyone with thyroid disease. And it really feels like you have to listen to all the stories out there! Hypothyroidism is such a perplexed disease. Its safe to say that a treatment that works for one person, doesnt always work for the next. Nonetheless, what works for one person could be a step into the right direction to your own healthy being. It can never hurt to try new things to help with your own thyroid disease! Im really interested in hearing her thoughts on hormonal imbalance. This is the part that endocrinologists dont really touch on (at least all the ones Ive been to). And its such a huge part of hypothyroidism, and definitely makes my own journey very complex.

When reading this interview with Jillian Michaels, I had a wonderful aha! moment. I love when I have those! I found this interview in Health magazine's, November issue. This is the question/answer that stuck out to me:

Q: In terms of our fitness efforts, where do we go wrong?

A: We sell ourselves short when it comes to capability and potential. We read on the treadmill. We walk. People will be like, “I’ve been walking.” And I’m like, “Really? Really?” [Laughs.] “OK, you walked to the car, and then to the door at the mall, and then you took the stairs, too? Come on, man.”

If I can take a 66-year-old man and train him six hours a day, six days a week, you can do more than just take the stairs! People have no concept of what the human body is really designed to do. They have no concept of their strength! And they function in a zone that is well below what their potential really is.

This is so true. Ive been at the gym so many times, jump on a piece of equipment for 30 minutes and pat myself on the back like I just completed a marathon. And was that 30 minutes everything I could give it? Was it high intensity? Or was it just a leisure workout? More than likely it was somewhere around leisurely. I am selling myself short. I am not reaching my FULL potential. I'm only cheating myself! (As you can tell Jillian is in my head. ha!)

Go big or go home, right?

I have the odds against me with my thyroid disease in the first place, so yes sir I need to go BIG! Im putting in the time for the workout, so why not push myself to get the most out of my workout? Seems like common sense doesnt it? Than why do we so often NOT do it? Because we think we can't do it? Or maybe because we think simply working out is an accomplishment by itself. But who wants to be mediocre? Not me! Making strides in my workouts gives me confidence. I know this from experience. And I want that feeling back again!

With all that being said, today (dont you love first day of the months?), was my first 60 minute cardio session. I did a 3 mile run and than jumped on the elliptical for 15 minutes. During my run I got all the way up to 5.7mph! Lately Im lucky if I get up to 5 mph. I just kept pushing myself and it felt great! And guess what? I didnt die. I didnt fly off the treadmill. I adapted to it. Amazing what you can do when you just try!

So excited to see where I am at the end of this month!

Lazy Sunday

Its been one lazy Sunday. Although we are all allowed a lazy day here and there right? I probably take them more than I should though.

Yesterday I was super productive. Got all the house cleaning done, as well as the laundry. So really today all I had to do was get a workout in. So I worked on yet another blog design. I think I really like this one, lets see how long I keep it. :p

Last night we went out to the bar to hear some techno music. We brought a couple friends of ours that normally dont listen to techno. It made me happy since I try to get my non techno friends to come out with me once in awhile, and am usually unsuccessful. Its nice to take them to a piece of my world. :) And it appeared they had a good time. She did say it was fun, but not a fabulous time. LOL Ill take that! Derek Plasklaiko did tear it up last night. Loved it! I drank regular beer last night....which probably wasnt a good idea. I hope it doesnt derail my weigh in this week. Today I ate unhealthy and drank way to much pop to. Im realizing that when I make one bad choice, there are many more bad choices that follow. So I have this bad feeling Ill have a gain this week. I had fun though, so if I do have a gain Ill just work harder on next weeks weigh in. Finally, after a very long day in my recliner I got up and did the 30 day shred. Thats whats so great about that workout, its 20 minutes...so really there is no excuse why you cant squeeze it in. As usual, I felt much better after I did it. :) And Im right on track with my exercise goal for the week. YAY!

Just watching the Grammys now. Its a decent show this year. Ill probably stay up to catch the MJ tribute. But than to bed..because its past my bedtime. lol Watching the Grammy's is not making me think about my normal Sunday blues. Thinking about going into a job that I dislike so much, for another long week. Ahhh yes, the Sunday blues. They get me every week.

But something exciting is happening this week! Ingrid Michaelson's tour dates are being announced!!!! I hope Detroit is on the tour!!!!! Something to look forward to this week :)

Wow, if this isnt a complete babbling post...I dont know what is! LOL

Another Pound Gone!

Weigh In day is here again...how fast you came! And Im happy to announce I have another pound gone. Slow and steady wins the race I suppose :)


I felt really strong with my workouts this week. I actually completed five days! Cycling, Running, and the 30 Day Shred. One day I even squeezed in two workouts. I forgot how much I love cycling class. It really has put a fire in me again. And I just saw that they added a Saturday and Sunday class. Another reason to not drink on the weekends, and get my ass out of bed early! Now as far as the eating...I need some help there. My soda intake is out of control. I need to eat more fruits and veggies. And fast food should NEVER be an option. So as you can tell my goals didnt work so well with me. Lets reflect shall we?

Last Week Goals:

• Only one 20 ounce pop every other day - I did good for about 2 days, than had at least 20 ounce per day
• Exercise 4 days - SUCCEEDED! Worked out 5 days!
• Eat a fruit/vegetable with every meal - I maybe ate 1 a day - its a start I suppose
• NO fast food (embarrassing that I even have to type this) - Failed 2 times

So...yeah. I was lucky to lose 1 pound! I have my mojo going with my workouts, so now time to add in another healthy goal. I really want to kick this soda habit. So I need to ponder on another way I can do this. I did buy milk this week. I usually drink pop with my dinner, so now Ive decided to try to drink milk with dinner instead. We shall see how that works out. Im going to focus only on two goals this week, and if I succeed than we will add a third next week.

This weeks goals:

• Exercise: 4 days of cardio, 3 days of strength, 1 day of Yoga
• Whenever I want to drink soda, I will drink milk instead

Okay, no excuses. I should meet both those goals! Im putting all this work into my workouts...why do I want to sabotage myself by eating so unhealthy? Seems like such a dumb thing to do, right? And Im not dummy...so enough is enough! :p

Oh, and a bonus motivator is coming my way. There is a department weight loss challenge going on at work. Basically we just weigh in on Tuesdays at work, but its the honor system. We dont have to share our weights..just the percentage we lost. And we can chose to go into the, "Gamble To Lose" program. We pitch in $10 in scratch off tickets, and if we maintain or lose we dont do anything else. But if we gain than we have to add in $1 scratch off card for that week. At the end of 8 weeks the top 2 losers when the scratch offs. I love scratch offs! And lets be honest...a lot of things dont really motivate me. Ive done biggest loser challenges before, where everyone knew my weight. I still at times couldnt find the inspiration or motivation to do what I needed to do. Instead I showed my gains, almost not even ashamed at times! Sad, isnt it? But something about doing this at work, around coworkers, who see you in the cafeteria eating breakfast and lunch. Now that SCREAMS motivation to me! LOL

So BRING IT ON! :p

Am I The Only One?

Who hates going to workout class and seeing yourself in the mirror? Its horrible. I think...who is that girl looking back at me? How in the hell did you get this size? I guess its motivation though eh? I would like to say its just in classes, but anytime Im at the gym I hate seeing clearly. So you want to know how ridiculous I am? I take my glasses off so everything is blurry. I try to tell myself that my glasses just slide off my face, and I like to get lost in the zone. But the reality is...if people are pointing and laughing at me (like I think they are), I cant see them! LOL Got to love insecurities eh? Nobody even glances my way, but for some reason my head cant comprehend that!

Tonight I went to cycling class. Luckily I got one of the last few bikes. I forgot its January and the gym is packed. I had to go to the third parking lot to find a spot! The bike that I got was front row, right in front of the instructor. Groan. Just before I left I said to Grant...hopefully I dont get front row and someone has to stare at my ass. LOL But looking at the positive...always the positive...I knew Id get the most of my workout being in the front row. No wimping out, or losing form when the instructor is right in front of me! I had that mirror staring at me. But this was like a 3D every wall in the room type mirror. The devil! Of course I thought wow everyone is like...look at that girl! Who does she think she is wearing that? So I took off my glasses, and enjoyed the rest of my class with blurry vision. HA! Im so messed up in the head.

I havent been to cycling class since before the wedding, so it was rough. But I just focused on my breathing, and drank lots of water. Before I knew it, class was over. Okay maybe not before I knew it...because I felt every single minute in that hour! I made it through a standing hill climb, surges, jumps, simulating jogs, and than the killer...sit down high resistance 12 minute hill climb. Phew! I feel GREAT! I love this feeling :)

Maybe in a few weeks I can keep my glasses on. :p

Not as easy as riding a bike....

We are having a little bit of a heat wave here in Michigan. We had a high of 36 degrees today. I don't know if it ever got that high, but when I got outside it was around 10am and felt pretty balmy.

I decided that I would take advantage of this heat wave and take my run outside today. Now I just recently got back into the running game...and quite honestly its kicking my butt. Seriously. See Homer over there...I felt exactly like that. (And actually I think Ive used that Homer image before! HA!) The treadmill seems just a little bit easier these days. But I loathe the treadmill. So getting outside is good. I need to get use to winter running if I plan on running any races anyways. So out I went.

I got through 2 miles. I felt like I was in super slow motion, like when Will Farrell gets hit in the jugular in Old School. LOL I can definitely tell you that getting back into running is not as easy as riding a bike again. No sir. But it did feel good to have a 2 mile base. I remember when I very first started running a few years ago...30 seconds felt just like 2 miles felt today. Now that is something to reflect on :)

I would like to run a half marathon again...and something that may be happening in April (that I cant mention right now) would definitely motivate me to get in shape. So a half marathon could really be in my future. Right now 13.1 miles seems crazy....but Ive done it before so I know I can do it. One mile at a time.

Acceptance - HYC

So I have come to realize that in the next 3 months I am going to have to learn to accept myself physically for who I am right now. I truly believe that my health is holding me back from having the body I long to have. Although that does sound a little superficial. Its suppose to be about health first, right?

I have been working out for 4-6 days a week for the last month now. I have lost zero pounds. I have lost zero inches. My eating isnt perfect, but it isnt horrible either. For someone working out that much I would think that eating with a few mishaps would be okay. I have been seeing a holistic doctor in addition to my endocrinologist since the beginning of May. I know its a slow process to feeling better but Im not feeling any different. Im still exhausted. Im still fatigued. I simply can not lose any weight.

Do I feel more fit? Yes. Do I feel like Im getting stronger? Yes. So why cant I be happy with that? How come every time I see myself in pictures I get depressed? I avoid pictures at any cost. Which might be difficult to do on my wedding day.....

So I need to love myself. Inside and out. I know theres a 99% chance that I will have the body that I have now on my wedding day. While thats sad, its something I have to deal with. And not let it consume me. I have to accept it. I just keep remembering that first time I tried on my dress. I was maybe 10lbs lighter than I am now, but I can honestly say when I saw myself in the mirror I didnt see the image that I see in pictures now. I truly did feel beautiful. Ill pull out those pictures every now and than (ok maybe more than that. ;p) and I still feel beautiful. I should be happy with that. And I have to keep that in mind.

I need to turn my focus. Maybe focus on weight lifting a bit more. Buff up my arms, shoulder, and back. Accentuate the body parts that my beautiful dress shows off! It doesnt matter what size I am...it matters what the day is about. And that is marrying the man I love. And he has always loved me unconditionally, no matter what size I am. One of the many reasons I love him!

With all that being said, it still is difficult getting to that acceptance point. But I owe it to myself to get to that point!

Derailing Is Not Acceptable - HYC

So its weeks like this that could derail me. I'm very good at the derail game. All or nothing. I use to be good at letting derailing win...and now Im trying to focus on beating the derail.

First it started on Sunday. I slept in till noon from staying out late the night before, and than worked on homework literally the rest of the day. No run. I did go to the gym Monday but had the most crappy workout ever. Today I was blessed with my that dreaded friend of the month, and feel like complete crap. Cramps galore. Migraine Headache. Cravings like you wouldnt believe. I decided to take the day off. Took a nap when I got home, did some housework, and than watched some TV. Ill get back at things tomorrow. Normally this type of start to a week would lead me into a careless attitude. Not to mention Im pretty busy the rest of the week. Lia Sophia show on Thursday, Kid Rock concert on Friday, and a bridal shower on Saturday. Those would be GREAT excuses for me to not workout.

Nope we arent playing that game. I decided to take today off and today only. I can fit in workouts on those other days, except for maybe Thursday. Even than I can throw in a 20 minute Jillian workout, or go for a walk on my lunch break. Its doable, and I will make it work!

I also noticed that Im sort of making the same decisions with my food. I have been consistently working out for a few weeks now. So Ive been trying to pay attention to my food a little bit more. I try to at least make 2 out of 3 meals healthy ones. When Im picking out snacks I really think about them, and not grab for the sugar right away. We shall see how it plays out in a few weeks. All I can keep doing is moving forward and trying. Ill have bad days, but thats normal. Like today, I caved into PB twix and 2 Pepsis. But than I had a healthy dinner after that. Its all about choices. Not letting one bad move mess up the rest of the day.

Im just checking that fatitude at the door! Keeping a positive outlook, focusing on what I can do...not what I cant do, and seeing every "mistake" as an learning opportunity.

Lets see what this week shall bring :)

One of my Ah-ha! Moments - HYC

So you know how you hear a saying a thousand times, but that one time you hear it it finally makes you go, Ah-ha! Dont you love those moments? I think you hear sayings over and over, and sometimes it just sounds like a broken record. You just dont see any meaning to it. But its that one specific time and place that makes that one saying speak to you in a totally different light. I had an ah-ha moment last week. It happened in cycling class.

I was a little nervous since I had not been to cycling class in a few weeks...actually over a month. As we were warming up the instructor said, Surprise! Its interval day. I thought to myself what did I get myself into?! And than he said, to finish off this great workout we will do a 13 minute hill climb standing up. I thought to myself, I hope I just make it the whole 60 minutes! Little did I know would I not only make it 60 minutes, but this workout was just what I needed

I love cycling class. It is the one workout where I feel like I push no matter what. No matter what is on my mind, or what happened earlier that day, or what mind frame Im in...I still push. Its like the one workout class where I literally let all my worries go and get lost in the class. Running is so opposite than that. I can say sometimes when Im done running I do get that great feeling that I consistently get during cycling class, but its not every time. Running is a much more love/hate relationship. Now cycling class is love only. (Sorry running! I still love you!) Everything about the class I love to pieces. The one awesome thing that always sticks out in my mind is that I feel like Im sweating out all those toxins in my body. And boy do I have toxins! When Im done I feel so refreshed and rejuvenated. This time was no different. The feeling came back so quickly, and I thought to myself you need to put cycling higher on your priority list! Oh how Ive missed you!

The intervals went well. Much better than I expected. Why are intervals in cycling so much nicer to me than intervals running? I think its having that bike underneath me or something...I feel more in control or something. Anyhoo....so as we were rounding the last half of the workout we landed into the last 13 minutes. Its all or nothing I thought to myself. Up the resistance went, and up on the bike I went. Our instructor tries to stay quiet so we can all have our zen place. Its a little hard for him but he does a good job. lol And he picks the most perfect music! Which also makes finding your zen a little bit easier. So after a minute or so I found that zen. As hard as your working, it feels just as relaxing as yoga. As strange as that sounds. The instructor told us to push our resistance up a bit, and when I did that I started to feel the intensity at a whole new level. I started to lose focus for a minute and than he said in a very loud, firm voice. YOU ARE IN CONTROL! THE HILL DOES NOT CONTROL YOU! YOU CONTROL THE HILL! That kept replaying through my head as I pushed out those last 5 minutes. When I was done....I pretty much had the cycling high. Does that happen or did I make that up? Anyways I felt fanfuckingtastic!

So as I carried out the rest of my week, whether it was a work stress situation, a workout I was trying to avoid, or even when making some of my food choices.....that saying replayed in my head again. You are in control! I found an ah-ha! moment. Dont you love those? I havent had one of those in a long time, so I got really geeked over it :) You are in control....such a simple phrase, yet it never really struck a cord with me before. Seriously, I control all my actions. I determine my fate. Im in control!

So glad I went to that cycling class. Another reason I need to go to class more often!

Fresh Start

Something about the first of the month I just love. Its like a new beginning, a fresh start. Wipe that slate clean, and try to make this month better than the last. At least that is how I like my outlook to be.

Unfortunately this morning I didnt have that positive attitude. I defintely woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I attempted to go to bed early last night since Ive been so exhausted. After about 30 minutes I was woken up by fireworks. It sounded like they were being lit off my roof. Well they pretty much were. See I live in a pretty ghetto area. I hate it. But its where I live so I deal. And we are pretty much stuck here due to the economy so we try to make the best of it. Until shit like this happens, than I start to get really pissed off. The house next door to us was foreclosed years ago. And its been empty. For a LONG time. It has given us so many issues, especially one disgusting one in particular. We have dealt with many mice issues due to this. Many, many mice issues. It grosses me out thinking about it again. So when someone bought it I was pretty excited that finally the property was going to be cared for. Well the city forced them to tear the house down. And of course they are not rebuilding. So its just a vacant lot now. Lovely. A vacant lot that 10 neighborhood kids think is their playground, and love to bring in all kinds of shovels and dig up holes. But thats a story for another day.

So last night my lovely neighbors thought it was a grand idea to use the vacant lot to light off these huge fireworks. That started around 10pm and lasted for over an hour. The fireworks were pretty much being shot over our house. Dont these idiots realize they are lighting off fireworks in a weed infested lot and theres a good chance a fire would happen? These houses are to close to be lighting off those big fireworks! Nope, not them. They were tailgating, and having a good ol time. No one on my street would have the sense to think...oh people might have to work tomorrow, maybe we should wait till Friday. If they worked maybe they would understand. But yeah your not finding people like that in this neighborhood. You know people with COMMON SENSE! ARGH!

So as you can image I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Tired and cranky. So I was in a foul mood most of the day. I still packed my gym bag this morning, and planned on hitting the gym since I hadnt in the last two days. As the day progressed I thought...I should just go home, and veg. But I didnt. I knew my mood needed some brightening up. I made it to the gym after work, and started in on my 2.5 mile scheduled run. It was not a pretty sight. Struggles through the whole thing. But I worked through it. And through those awful side stitches. Even after taking a walking break for those things, I would usually just stop, but I finished out my last half mile with running. Go me :) I did feel great afterwards. To bad I ruined it with what I ate for dinner. oy! We will focus on the gym part for now :)

So yes, new month. New goals. New beginnings. Fresh Start. July is going to be a good month. I can feel it.

One Focus For Now - HYC

So I havent checked in with the Healthy You Challenge in quite sometime. Its way overdue. Sadly I dont have any progress to really report. I just keep playing this game with myself, and I dont know why. I can say Im going to make a change, but I find something to hold me back. Sometimes I think I dont deserve it.

But I do deserve it. So what I did decide was to focus on one thing, and that was going to be running. I know Ill see improvements with running, and I know seeing progress is what I need. I really loved the way I felt when I was running before, and often long for that feeling. Im only into my second week on this "change". But Im happy to report I stuck to my 3 days of running, and also did 2 days of cross training. I want to minimum run 3 days a week. I figure that I can stick to, and everything else is a bonus. We all have to start somewhere.

I did notice last week what works gym wise for me. I wasnt carpooling because we had to take furlough weeks, so I packed my gym bag everyday and went directly to the gym after work. Only one day did I really have to force myself, kicking and screaming, to go there. And I always felt fantastic afterwards. Now when I carpool this does make going directly to the gym from work a little bit more difficult. But I have to make it work. Recently, Ive found myself hitting a rut of depression, and exercise is essential when Im like this. It really does help my mood. I have to just keep that in mind.

Ive seen a lot of pictures of myself lately, and am disgusted on who I see. I dont see myself as that person in the photos. Especially when Im running. I do feel somewhat fit, but look so unfit. Its depressing. I know my food is to blame. I can not get it under control. I figure Ill stick to my workout goals for now, and than slowly work on my food issues.

So yeah thats it in a nutshell. Consistenty with running. That I can do.

Missing Pieces

So summer is here, which is a great thing. But lately Ive been feeling a little lost. Usually every summer Im so busy with training and fundraising for the Breast Cancer 3 Day. Now this summer Im just as equally busy with summer school, work, and wedding planning. But I still feel this void. This huge sadness. I miss the 3 Day!

I miss cramming in all those training walks. In the sticky, humid, heat. Especially the chats that go along with those walks. Jen and I barely see each other now! It was like my everyday therapy session with her. I miss that excitement I get leading up to the week of the event. Finding out opening and closing ceremonies. Going through the check in process online. Preparing for the event by making tshirts, and finding pink fluffy things to accessorize in. I miss the scrambling around to put on one last fundraiser event to meet my goal. Packing and repacking my bag to make sure its at the weight limit. Funny how when those things are happening you dont realize how you would miss them if they werent there.

The Breast Cancer 3 Day is such an amazing event, and it makes me feel like I have a purpose. I feel so great being a participant. Im saving and chaning lives, literally. So when thats not there this year I feel a huge void. Sometimes I think I need the 3 day more than it needs me! I feel like Im wandering through the summer wishing I had something to work towards. Instead Im wedding planning, and feel like Im failing miserably at it! Seriously, Im so clueless at this wedding planning and afraid Im going to end up with this hokey event. Im sure it wont, and it will all work out in the end. I have to keep reminding myself, its just a different type of planning. Ive planned tons of fundraising events. This one just feels a little bit more pressured! lol

I dont know if this void is what is zapping my motivation. But I seriously have none. I try to do things to find it, but its so lost. I thought signing up for a race might force motivation. I will find races to sign up for, but than I dont do the deed and sign up. The two races I previously had on my blog I never signed up for, nor trained for. Ive added two new ones today. We shall see if I take the dive and sign up for those. I sat down today and made out a workout schedule starting next Monday till October 18th. Its a little overachieverish, seeing that my workouts are so sporadic right now. Going from 1 workout day a week to 5 is probably not the smartest choice. But I have been known to be an all or nothing girl. I printed out this months workout schedule and put it on the fridge. I thought I would give myself a star for the days I worked out. And told Grant he can put whatever he wants on the days Im suppose to work out and dont. Im looking for any motivation at this point!

I want to get excited about something. Something that is health related. I remember the way I felt when I was in great shape going into the 3 Day. Or how I felt after I ran my half marathon last year. I want that excitement again. I need to find that again.

HYC - Week 14

Helllllloooooo out there :) Ive been MIA. Some good times some not so good times. But Im hanging in there. The new gym is up and running and more classes are being added every week. So Im trying a little bit of this and little bit of that. The classes are fun. And Im definitely getting great workouts in everything I try. And let me tell you....going to these workout classes with these rooms surrounded by mirrors on three sides is GREAT MOTIVATION! When your staring at yourself and thinking damn that is me? That cant be me! I have work to do! Its not a fun thing to look at, or to come to realize yes girl you have gotten off track.

Ive also added in some running again. I was able to run 35 minutes/2.75 miles on my first run back. I was very pleased with that! Ive found two races that I would like to run. One is a 5k on May 2nd, and the other is a 10k on May 30th. I haven't signed up yet. But have them in mind. Ill see how the next few weeks pan out running wise.

And I think I may try the cycling class at the gym. I hear great things about it, and how although I may feel like Im going to die...Ill feel great in the end. I have to admit I love those type of workouts. Im feeling good about working out. Now just need to get my food in check more often. I have six months left till the wedding and it is totally doable to reach my goal.

Give up? Not today!

So Ive felt pretty inspired since my post last night. Ive been keeping those thoughts in mind all day today. And its a good thing I did because today was an eventful day for me. In a not so great way. A few situations came up that would usually derail me right back to those things that keep holding me back. But today was different than other days. I took control, and said no.

First, I received a call from my mom today at work. My mom and I are estranged right now. She thought it would be a great idea to call me at work and let me know that my aunt passed away. And throw in digs about how great she is doing. (she is getting married next weekend) I was overwhelmed with emotions. For one, the passing of my aunt. She is my favorite aunt and has been sick for a long time. She has AIDS, so has been fragile for quite sometime. She got anemonia, which is how she passed. I also was overwhelmed with the fact that I was speaking to my mother for the first time in 6 months, and it wasnt my choice. So I decided to go out to lunch, and I was thinking fast food. I needed fast food, fast. Instead my coworker tagged along and she suggested Zoup. I said, that is a great idea. So we went to Zoup and I had soup and a half salad.

Another thing that happened today is I came home and decided that I would move on to level 3 on my Jillian Michaels 30 day shred workout. I got through the first circuit and thought I was going to die. I seriously couldnt handle it. I said, forget this and went to go shut it off. Than I remembered not to give up. So went back into position and just modified the moves where need be. Damn that was a hard workout. Its seriously 5 times harder than level 2! But I made it through without dying. And felt pretty good afterwards.

And lastly, I continued working on a paper for my art class. Ive been working on this paper for the last few days, and I am not making very good progress. As I sat there thinking there is no way this rough draft is going to be done tomorrow in time, so they negative talk started. Who do I think I am going back to school? I cant even write this paper. This was a huge mistake. Im so dumb. Forget it Im not even going to turn this in. Overreact much? I often do. I recollected my thoughts remembering my post again from last night. I refocused, completed a better outline for my paper, and decided Ill take the 5 point penalty and not turn in the rough draft.

In the midst of all this drama inside my head, Grant was letting me know he was going to Burger King for dinner. He asked what I wanted. I sat there for a minute...than said nothing. One of my goals this week is to not eat fast food. Ill eat the leftover subway in the fridge.

Go Mel!

Small changes. Being in control. Taking a minute to re-assess. Keep on moving forward no matter what! In with positive, out with the negative. I feel happy about my choices today :) Take that old Melissa :p

WOO HOO! LA Fitness is officially open!

Finally, after many weeks of anticipation the LA Fitness gym by my house opened up. Ive been looking forward to this mainly because I need something to kick my ass in gear. Figures that it opens when my monthly friend is here. But I stuffed my bloated self in some workout clothes and headed on up there. I was expecting a bit more than what I saw, but dont get me wrong its still a very nice facility. I think maybe because its such a large space and there wasnt a ton of people in there.

The weight machines and free weights are all on the main floor. And than there is this second floor that is like half a floor. I think that disappointed me. I thought it was going to be a full second floor. All the cardio was up there. Treadmills, bikes, ellipticals. The treadmills are actually right up to the railing. So when your running on them anyone walking in or downstairs looks up at you as your dying from exhaustion. :p As well as you can look down and see the people on the weights. Not sure how I like that set up just yet....

Than I did see the swimming pool right to the left of the entrance. The front windows from the parking lot look in on the pool area. Basketball court is kinda tucked away in the back, but the spinning class room, aerobic room, and racquet ball courts are all along the sides, midway on the main floor. Those are all open to, as in you can see in the rooms very clearly. All window walls. I guess noticing all the openness has my self consciousness creeping up. Im think to myself, that sucks for us out of shape folks. Not that anyone even cares what I look like when Im working out. :p

Very nice new machines. I hopped around on a few different cardio machines. The treadmill fitness test said I did POOR! lol But it felt good to be running again :) It will be nice to get back into a routine. The classes wont start for another few weeks. They didnt have a schedule yet. Im curious on the classes, and think Ill definitely try out a few. They aren't additional cost so thats nice. And there is such a variety! The hours are really nice. I can squeeze in before work, after work, or late night to.

I felt so bleh when I was in there today. Bloated, overweight, out of shape. So it will be nice to start to feel some progress, and healthy again.

Hatha Yoga

I started going to a yoga class on Monday nights. Its held at a nearby church, and the cost is just a donation. It is Hatha Yoga, and is a 90 minute class. Now Ive dabbled in a few Yoga classes here and there, but never stuck with it. I always felt like I wasn't "getting it". But lately Ive really been wanting to get into Yoga, and some sort of mediation. I think it would help my stress levels, and Yoga is just so good overall for your entire health. I hear so many runners talk about how they do Yoga. The flexibility to the joints and spine, improving balance, helps prevent injuries by strengthening muscles, improving concentration and endurance, etc. So many positive things! I can only imagine how those things would make my running so much more enjoyable!

Hatha Yoga concentrates on physical health and mental well being. It has slow movements, more like stretch movements combined with breathing techniques, and mediation. The setting is very calm, serene, and safe. All the lights are out, and a few night lights, and candles are on. And of course there is very calm instrumental music playing. With the slow movements, you really do focus on stretching out all the muscles. When I get done stretching one muscle, it feels good. Literally. Like wow that was so tight! Its weird how I can feel the strengthening with the stretching. The strengthening is already showing some good progress, my body aren't shaking as much as they use to. I think this style is good to start off, since the movements are slow I really am learning the proper breathing technique to. Where in other classes I took I was focusing on how to do the moves so not really paying attention on the breathing. Learning how and when to breath deep, and shallow really makes a difference on the poses!

Through most of the class there is mediation. The instructor recommends keeping your eyes shut through the entire class. Focusing on mediating. Finding your center, focusing on yourself, letting all the days worries go away, etc. Its really interesting. Closing my eyes can be tricky on some standing up moves, but if you focus on your breathing, and being in that moment, it really isn't as hard. Its a good way to mediate for someone like me, who wants to mediate, but never would take the time. When I'm mediating on these poses, I'm noticing where the stretch feels, and how its feeling. Its like I'm just in that moment, and feels good to be focusing on my body, and just me. For the last 15-20 minutes of the class we focus solely on mediating without poses or stretches. We are laying down and let our entire body relax. The instructor makes the music louder, and has you focus on that. Listening to the different instruments and vibrations. My mind truly relaxes. Something I thought it never could do. (I'm one of those people whose mind doesn't shut off when I try to go to sleep) The music takes your mind away! After 10 minutes or so he has us feel our body, part by part, from the toes all the way to the head. The feeling of each body part is pretty intense actually. We than awake each body party, and roll on each side, and eventually roll up into our comfortable position with one last deep breath in and out.

I really, really like this class. When I'm done with class I just have this awesome stress free, relaxed, I have no worries in the world feeling. My body feels loose, but strengthened at the same time. I definitely will be keeping Yoga as part of my workout routine. Not only am I getting a great workout, I'm also taking 90 minutes to just focus on me. Which is something I think everyone should do daily!