Lazy Sunday, Fun Times, and Annoying Cold

With the wedding over it really does feel like a lazy Sunday. Still things to do but not the rush, rush, rush...we dont have enough hours in the day feeling. The doggies or should I say, Bandito let us sleep in till noon. That was nice. I decided to get up and Grant is sleeping a bit longer. We didnt get to bed till around 3:30ish.

Ill probably get around to the laundry, work on my resume for a bit (applying for a new position at work), catch up on some Tivo, and maybe read a bit (really digging the book I started last week!). Besides that nothing to much on the agenda. That sounds like a perfect lazy day eh? Wish I was back in Florida laying on a hammock though. That would be a perfect lazy Sunday!

Ive been battling this cold since we got back in town, and Im so over it. Seriously. We went out for a friends birthday last night, and not sure that was the best idea for me. My cough seems to have gotten worse. Bleh. We did have a lot of fun though. We had dinner in Mexicantown, and than headed out to a night of great music. It was a mixture of different genres. First we heard a band, New Music Detroit. They only played for about 20 minutes, but a guy was killing it on the xylophone. It was cool. Next up was Will Sessions Funk Big Band, this band was awesome. It was funk big band, and while Im not a huge fan of funk...I am of big band. And the combo together was really awesome. They played so many different instruments, and I loved it! I would definitely see them again. Than Carl Craig dj'd, and rocked it out as always. Loved the diverse type of music, and a much needed night out for Grant and I. We were getting antsy for some good music since we have been on vacation, and went to a doosy of a party last weekend. The minute that bass vibrated the floor when Carl Craig went on I remembered why we love Detroit so much. We have great music here, oh yes we do. We danced, danced, and danced some more. I dont think I sweated like that from dancing in quite some time!

Looking forward to a short week, which is kind of silly since we just had 19 days off. Getting back into a routine has been quite tough!

Selective Friendships

Remember when you were younger and friendships were just so much easier? You really had no worries, and knew you would be best friends for the rest of your lives. If we only knew than what we know now.

Recently I ended a friendship. A fairly new friendship, it was not even a year old. It had more ups and downs than I cared to ride out. And when the ride was up, it was great! But when it was down, it was way the fuck down there. Its always sad when you lose a friendship, even if it was an unhealthy one. I know it was the right thing to do, and feel good with my decision. But at the same time still stop to think to myself, why do I find myself in so many "toxic" friendships? Am I the problem? Do I get drawn into these type of friendships for a reason? It really puts me back into a evaluating me stage. Wondering what I could do differently to find the friendships I desire to have.

Going through this situation did make me realize something. I have grown. Although I did see the signs that this friendship wasn't working a few months ago, I did finally know when it was time to step away. Previously I would of engrossed myself in the unhealthiness that it was causing, and clung on to it for dear life. I have longed to find strong, close friendships for quite sometime. Ever since I lost the friendship of one of my dearest friends from my childhood. I haven't necessarily tried to replace her, but have longed to have a friendship that was like ours. Ive come to realize that probably will never happen, and am okay with that. Finally. It only took about 5 years. In previous years I would find myself settling for friends. Settling with the drama, cattiness, bullshit..whatever you want to call it. I would do that just to have a friendship. A friendship that I thought was what I wanted, but it would turn out that it was completely different than what I thought it was. Its like I would have this distorted vision of it, because I wanted the friendship so bad. Denial? Naive? Who knows. But this time I said enough is enough. I knew after going through those down stages...this is so not worth it. Life is way to short to mend things that are meant to be mended. I've really been trying to live my life in a more positive way. And this friendship was pulling me in the opposite direction. I was being derailed. Derailed from the person I want to be. And involved in a cattiness level I didn't even know existed! Im glad I finally was able to come back to reality and see it for what it was.

I have met many friends through this person, and thought this sucks to lose all those friendships. Its been so fun getting to know these girls over the last year, and I look forward to lasting friendships with them. But at the same time my sanity, and mental health comes first. I cant continue down this unhealthy "friendship" path I'm on. If those people I met are my friends, they will still be my friends. Regardless what happens between this other person and I. Actually this is a great opportunity for me to work on my qualities of being a friend. Reaching out and keeping in touch with them. Something that has been a weakness of mine for quite sometime.

And ironically since Ive ended that other friendship, I have had a chance to get together with those other friends more often than I did before. We always hung out in a group, so we just used that time to hang out. When your in a group its defintely fun times. But you don't really get to know each person on a more personal level. Now I'm getting that opportunity, and its great. Not having the extra stress from trying to make a friendship work that clearly wasn't working feels great to. I feel good about the growth I continue to make as a person. I am beginning to understand who I am, what I want, and carry that out. That feels really empowering.

80's Night! Totally Tublar!

So on Friday some friends and I had an 80's party. It was a blast! We made it into a slumber party to. It was like we were teenagers again!

We all got decked out in our 80's finest, and jammed to 80's music all night. We did those great activities from back in the day, like MASH, Pop Rocks, Dip n Sticks, made cootie catchers (remember those?!), painted our nails neon colors, and all that fun stuff :)

We of course busted out the 80's movies...my favorite Valley Girls. Oh Nicholas Cage, how I loved him in that movie. And we also watched 16 candles and Girls Just Want To Have Fun. hehe As the night went on we did a game of Truth and Dare, although not to many people would pick dares. Except Wendi of course! Once dare we gave her was to send her hubby dirty text messages. :p

We than put a twist on the I never game, by making it into a drinking game. What whores we are! LOL We found out everyones dirty little secrets. tee hee I think Ill lay off the pucker for a long time now. 15 shots of that and I felt like I might toss my cookies! LOL

6 of us turned it into a slumber party. Busted out the air mattresses and snuggled in to one last movie. A much needed girl time! And we woke up to our wonderful hostesses cooking us breakfast. Thanks Wendi :)

I got voted best 80's costume :) I was loving my leg warmers. We are going to see the Mega 80's next weekend (a cover band), and I think I might just have to bust them out again. :) (To bad Im never smiling in any pictures! I so unphotogentic)





LOL Good Times. Good Times. Heres a link to the pictures if you want to see the rest of them :)

http://picasaweb.google.com/sgtpepperette/80SSlumberParty#

Newton Faulkner

Yep, I got to meet Newton Faulkner. And how did I react you ask? Like I normally do when I meet someone famous. A little star struck. Didnt say the things I wished I had. And if it wasnt for Danita, I probably wouldnt of even asked for this picture. lol

So Danita and I left work around 3:15, and with a little bit of a challenge finally found Dinos where the event was being held at. When we got there there was a handful of people...I really thought there would be more. The first 50 people got a sampler cd, poster, and entered to win Pistons tickets. Sweet. We werent so lucky to win the tickets though. There was a table left that was right next to the set up, so we took seats there and waited patiently. They served free appetizers. Free show, Free Food...what more can you ask for?

Newton showed around 4:30, and did 4 songs. Gone In The Morning, Dream Catch Me, To The Light, and I need Something. He shared some stories in between songs, worked through an string breaking on his guitar, and got the crowd participation going in Gone In The Morning. It was pretty awesome. He has such an amazing voice, and is so talented. I could listen to him all day long. You dont find to many people these days that are that great acoustically. I have to admit it was a tease. It made me want to see an entire show! When he sang, Dream Catch Me, as one of the songs. It made me a little emotional. I really wish Grant was there. It took me back to the night he proposed. Im so excited to get married to the man of my dreams. Im thinking we should find an instrumental version of Dream Catch Me to walk down the isle to :)

As he was packing up his guitar, one girl asked for his autograph. So I tried to bump in there, and ask for one to. Than his manager announced to everyone that he could not sign autographs and they had to go. Sound check was waiting for them since he had a show that night. As he was signing the girls autograph I told him how Grant proposed to me at his show in April during Dream Catch Me. And than Danita chimes in, yeah Im his stand in today. lol He stopped signing, looked up at me, and than said wow thank you. And did this bowing head folded hand thing towards me. So I stood there for a minute thinking of what to say, I had so many things in my head, and than was interrupted by some girl. A more aggressive girl than me. I thought dang it, I had a chance to talk to him. So Danita took my camera and I said, can I get a picture with you? He said definitely. I thanked him, than turned shy again. What is my problem? Hes just like me and you. LOL Im so silly sometimes.

But its a pretty great picture, dont you think? I was beyond geeked. Especially that the picture turned out good..Im known to not be very photogenic! Than we thought he was heading near the bathrooms so we went over there, but he didnt come that way. So as we made our way back to our table, he was trying to make his rounds. You could tell me was trying to appreciate his fans, but his manager was pulling him away. He was so down to earth, talking to everyone, giving out hugs, taking pictures. Which makes me love him as an artist even more!

Its just so cool to be up close and personal to artists you admire like that. Even if it was just a half hour, Im so glad I got that!

Coldplay and Newton in the same month. Awesome. With some of the not so happy things going on in my life, there also is a silver lining of happiness to :)

Weekend Updates

Its been an eventful weekend to say the least. I had some good quality time with friends and family. It started on Thursday. I went with the PL to see Josh Blue. He his the comedian that won last comic standing. He was hilarious. Seriously, I havent laughed that hard in a long time! Grant would of loved him, so I got him the DVD. :)

Friday was a pretty low key night. We just hung out at home getting chores done, and catching up on some tv.

Saturday I was heading over to Wendi's for a spa/game night. Crazy combo? More like fun combo! There was about 15 of us there. And we got mani/pedi's, massages, and than played some games. We played American Idol on the WII. I even got up and sang. Can you believe that?! I sang tainted love. LOL And we all were taught the cupid shuffle. Damn I have no rhythm. I am so akward looking when I dance. At least I think so. Im sure people dont even care what I look like. I like hanging with these girls, they are pulling me right out of my shell. Something that is good for me :)

Sunday was a little to heavy for me. I went over my sister, Kellys, house. And my other sister, Robin, and all my newphews and niece were over. It was my newphews birthday, and the kids were carving their pumpkins. We had a discussion about the event of spreading my dads ashes. Since I have chosen to not go due to the issues my mother and I are having, I let them in on that. They surprised me with telling me that they will not do this without me. They have already tried to talk my mom from going, but she is refusing. So they are going to talk to her again. They thought they could set boundaries with her, that she can not talk about her "new life", or try to make amends with me. But they know is she agrees with that, she wont be able to stick with it. So think its best if we go on two separate trips. Now to just get her to split up the ashes may be a difficult task. We shall see where that goes. It was nice to hear them support my decision. I just dont want this situation turn into a negative experience. Its a time to remember the memory of my dad, and I just dont think I can do that with my mom there, nor do I think she can do this without making the weekend about her.

I cant believe the things my mother is doing right now. I dont understand her, and never will.

So it was a good mixture this weekend, except trying to deal with the feelings with my mother. Spending time with the PL has really helped my moods lately though, they are a fun bunch of girls :)

Pink Ladies

So I browse meetup.com from time to time to see if there are groups maybe I could join and meet new friends. Since my dad passed, and with all the changes Ive gone through in the last few months it seems my friends have become more sporadic. Im not sure if its me sheltering myself from them, or its them not knowing how to be there for me. All in all, it just sucks. I have heard that when someone loses a parent, that a lot of friends exit, and new friends enter. Sometimes people cant handle that you've changed and want the old you back. Or simply just dont know how to be there for you, so you need to tell them. (But Im not sure how I need them to be there, at least not right now.) New friends never knew the old you, so can be there for you in ways maybe your old friends cant. Not that Im looking for friends to help me grieve so to speak. But really just missing the connection of friends. I would love to just go out and laugh. Have fun again. Not be so sad. With new friends that sometimes can be easier since they dont know everything that has happened, ya know?

So Ive decided to make a more conscious effort to find new friends. Not lock myself up in the house with my depression. And hopefully one day Ill be able to reconnect with those old friends, once I get more into the healing process and better understand how hard it was for them or that they didnt know what to do.

So I joined one group but only made it to one get together where one other person showed up. I did fall upon this other group called the Pink Ladies. Now first I love anything Pink. And second I LOVE GREASE! So of course I joined. Its a group of woman from late 20's to early 40's. This group is so active. There are meetups going on all month. From 2-4 a week sometimes. And the range of activities is fun. Stuff I like, and stuff Id love to try. When I joined it was right after the Boston 3 Day, so I didnt get a chance to get out to anything. And than I was fundraising and training for Michigan, so I didnt get out to anything in September either. But now that the 3 day season is over, I can start meeting up with these ladies. So this past Friday I went to my first meetup. Dinner, Movie, and Drinks.

I had a blast! These woman were so welcoming. They were really easy to talk to, and I felt like I had known them for years. We went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner, than went and saw the movie, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. Great movie by the way :) Than grabbed a few drinks at Buffalo Wild Wings afterwards. Im glad that I decided to step out of my comfort zone and go. Im really looking forward to getting to know these woman better. This was just the type of group I was looking for. :)