Choices...

Everything we do is a choice. Good Choice. Bad Choice. Sooner or later we get sick of making bad choices right? I think Ive finally reached that point.

I have had a pretty rough emotional day. Some personal stuff going on. That of course reflects into my daily life. So many thoughts going through my head. So many scenarios. So many questions. Its overwhelming to say the least. Today I started to get a migraine around lunchtime. I was eating through out the day, and drinking lots of water....so Im assuming it was stress. Once the migraine hit, my energy felt zapped. It was a little warm in the office today so that may have added to my blah feeling. Its frustrating that Im taking these steps to a healthier me, and Im feeling anything but healthy. I know it will take a few weeks to "detox", but geez these withdrawals are rough.

As I was leaving work I had a choice to make. Go to the gym or go home. The gym is now literally on the way home, so no excuses. I said well this migraine is really rough....but I could at least go and do 30 minutes. Or I could just stop, get a Slurpee, and go home to take a nap. As I was playing these mind games with myself....I found myself getting off the freeway exit to the gym. So my choice was to go to gym. I decided I would jog on the treadmill. Right when I started I could feel my feet getting very heavy. I promised myself to just push through a mile and I would stop. Some days you just dont have it in you...but you still push through it. You give it all you got. And that is exactly what I did. I made it 15 minutes on the treadmill, and than did another 20 on the elliptical. Phew, I made it. Good choice today. Ill take it.

As I move into this healthier lifestyle, a move I have made many times before, I have to remind myself that everything is a choice. Every thing I chose to eat, everything I chose to drink, every activity I chose to do. All of it are factors in this lifestyle. So do I chose to keep making the same mistakes, or do I chose to make me a healthier happier me?

I have a obsession with quotes these days...and this one sums this post up perfect.

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein

Boy is that true.....I think Im ready to be sane :) And on that note, Im making another great choice. Heading to bed early so I can get a good nights sleep. Night blogger friends :)

Reaching For The Stars

Last night I was searching the interweb for info on Jillian Michaels book, Master Your Metabolism. Someone recently told me she suffered from hypothyroid. I am intrigued.

For the record, I heart Jillian Michaels. <3

I found quite a few reviews on the book, and they all had one thing in common. This book is a must read! Some even said its one of the best health books out there. This is Jillians way of getting out what worked best for her, and if I ever get to that point I think I would want to do the same thing! Im open to reading about anyone with thyroid disease. And it really feels like you have to listen to all the stories out there! Hypothyroidism is such a perplexed disease. Its safe to say that a treatment that works for one person, doesnt always work for the next. Nonetheless, what works for one person could be a step into the right direction to your own healthy being. It can never hurt to try new things to help with your own thyroid disease! Im really interested in hearing her thoughts on hormonal imbalance. This is the part that endocrinologists dont really touch on (at least all the ones Ive been to). And its such a huge part of hypothyroidism, and definitely makes my own journey very complex.

When reading this interview with Jillian Michaels, I had a wonderful aha! moment. I love when I have those! I found this interview in Health magazine's, November issue. This is the question/answer that stuck out to me:

Q: In terms of our fitness efforts, where do we go wrong?

A: We sell ourselves short when it comes to capability and potential. We read on the treadmill. We walk. People will be like, “I’ve been walking.” And I’m like, “Really? Really?” [Laughs.] “OK, you walked to the car, and then to the door at the mall, and then you took the stairs, too? Come on, man.”

If I can take a 66-year-old man and train him six hours a day, six days a week, you can do more than just take the stairs! People have no concept of what the human body is really designed to do. They have no concept of their strength! And they function in a zone that is well below what their potential really is.

This is so true. Ive been at the gym so many times, jump on a piece of equipment for 30 minutes and pat myself on the back like I just completed a marathon. And was that 30 minutes everything I could give it? Was it high intensity? Or was it just a leisure workout? More than likely it was somewhere around leisurely. I am selling myself short. I am not reaching my FULL potential. I'm only cheating myself! (As you can tell Jillian is in my head. ha!)

Go big or go home, right?

I have the odds against me with my thyroid disease in the first place, so yes sir I need to go BIG! Im putting in the time for the workout, so why not push myself to get the most out of my workout? Seems like common sense doesnt it? Than why do we so often NOT do it? Because we think we can't do it? Or maybe because we think simply working out is an accomplishment by itself. But who wants to be mediocre? Not me! Making strides in my workouts gives me confidence. I know this from experience. And I want that feeling back again!

With all that being said, today (dont you love first day of the months?), was my first 60 minute cardio session. I did a 3 mile run and than jumped on the elliptical for 15 minutes. During my run I got all the way up to 5.7mph! Lately Im lucky if I get up to 5 mph. I just kept pushing myself and it felt great! And guess what? I didnt die. I didnt fly off the treadmill. I adapted to it. Amazing what you can do when you just try!

So excited to see where I am at the end of this month!

Am I The Only One?

Who hates going to workout class and seeing yourself in the mirror? Its horrible. I think...who is that girl looking back at me? How in the hell did you get this size? I guess its motivation though eh? I would like to say its just in classes, but anytime Im at the gym I hate seeing clearly. So you want to know how ridiculous I am? I take my glasses off so everything is blurry. I try to tell myself that my glasses just slide off my face, and I like to get lost in the zone. But the reality is...if people are pointing and laughing at me (like I think they are), I cant see them! LOL Got to love insecurities eh? Nobody even glances my way, but for some reason my head cant comprehend that!

Tonight I went to cycling class. Luckily I got one of the last few bikes. I forgot its January and the gym is packed. I had to go to the third parking lot to find a spot! The bike that I got was front row, right in front of the instructor. Groan. Just before I left I said to Grant...hopefully I dont get front row and someone has to stare at my ass. LOL But looking at the positive...always the positive...I knew Id get the most of my workout being in the front row. No wimping out, or losing form when the instructor is right in front of me! I had that mirror staring at me. But this was like a 3D every wall in the room type mirror. The devil! Of course I thought wow everyone is like...look at that girl! Who does she think she is wearing that? So I took off my glasses, and enjoyed the rest of my class with blurry vision. HA! Im so messed up in the head.

I havent been to cycling class since before the wedding, so it was rough. But I just focused on my breathing, and drank lots of water. Before I knew it, class was over. Okay maybe not before I knew it...because I felt every single minute in that hour! I made it through a standing hill climb, surges, jumps, simulating jogs, and than the killer...sit down high resistance 12 minute hill climb. Phew! I feel GREAT! I love this feeling :)

Maybe in a few weeks I can keep my glasses on. :p

One of my Ah-ha! Moments - HYC

So you know how you hear a saying a thousand times, but that one time you hear it it finally makes you go, Ah-ha! Dont you love those moments? I think you hear sayings over and over, and sometimes it just sounds like a broken record. You just dont see any meaning to it. But its that one specific time and place that makes that one saying speak to you in a totally different light. I had an ah-ha moment last week. It happened in cycling class.

I was a little nervous since I had not been to cycling class in a few weeks...actually over a month. As we were warming up the instructor said, Surprise! Its interval day. I thought to myself what did I get myself into?! And than he said, to finish off this great workout we will do a 13 minute hill climb standing up. I thought to myself, I hope I just make it the whole 60 minutes! Little did I know would I not only make it 60 minutes, but this workout was just what I needed

I love cycling class. It is the one workout where I feel like I push no matter what. No matter what is on my mind, or what happened earlier that day, or what mind frame Im in...I still push. Its like the one workout class where I literally let all my worries go and get lost in the class. Running is so opposite than that. I can say sometimes when Im done running I do get that great feeling that I consistently get during cycling class, but its not every time. Running is a much more love/hate relationship. Now cycling class is love only. (Sorry running! I still love you!) Everything about the class I love to pieces. The one awesome thing that always sticks out in my mind is that I feel like Im sweating out all those toxins in my body. And boy do I have toxins! When Im done I feel so refreshed and rejuvenated. This time was no different. The feeling came back so quickly, and I thought to myself you need to put cycling higher on your priority list! Oh how Ive missed you!

The intervals went well. Much better than I expected. Why are intervals in cycling so much nicer to me than intervals running? I think its having that bike underneath me or something...I feel more in control or something. Anyhoo....so as we were rounding the last half of the workout we landed into the last 13 minutes. Its all or nothing I thought to myself. Up the resistance went, and up on the bike I went. Our instructor tries to stay quiet so we can all have our zen place. Its a little hard for him but he does a good job. lol And he picks the most perfect music! Which also makes finding your zen a little bit easier. So after a minute or so I found that zen. As hard as your working, it feels just as relaxing as yoga. As strange as that sounds. The instructor told us to push our resistance up a bit, and when I did that I started to feel the intensity at a whole new level. I started to lose focus for a minute and than he said in a very loud, firm voice. YOU ARE IN CONTROL! THE HILL DOES NOT CONTROL YOU! YOU CONTROL THE HILL! That kept replaying through my head as I pushed out those last 5 minutes. When I was done....I pretty much had the cycling high. Does that happen or did I make that up? Anyways I felt fanfuckingtastic!

So as I carried out the rest of my week, whether it was a work stress situation, a workout I was trying to avoid, or even when making some of my food choices.....that saying replayed in my head again. You are in control! I found an ah-ha! moment. Dont you love those? I havent had one of those in a long time, so I got really geeked over it :) You are in control....such a simple phrase, yet it never really struck a cord with me before. Seriously, I control all my actions. I determine my fate. Im in control!

So glad I went to that cycling class. Another reason I need to go to class more often!

WOO HOO! LA Fitness is officially open!

Finally, after many weeks of anticipation the LA Fitness gym by my house opened up. Ive been looking forward to this mainly because I need something to kick my ass in gear. Figures that it opens when my monthly friend is here. But I stuffed my bloated self in some workout clothes and headed on up there. I was expecting a bit more than what I saw, but dont get me wrong its still a very nice facility. I think maybe because its such a large space and there wasnt a ton of people in there.

The weight machines and free weights are all on the main floor. And than there is this second floor that is like half a floor. I think that disappointed me. I thought it was going to be a full second floor. All the cardio was up there. Treadmills, bikes, ellipticals. The treadmills are actually right up to the railing. So when your running on them anyone walking in or downstairs looks up at you as your dying from exhaustion. :p As well as you can look down and see the people on the weights. Not sure how I like that set up just yet....

Than I did see the swimming pool right to the left of the entrance. The front windows from the parking lot look in on the pool area. Basketball court is kinda tucked away in the back, but the spinning class room, aerobic room, and racquet ball courts are all along the sides, midway on the main floor. Those are all open to, as in you can see in the rooms very clearly. All window walls. I guess noticing all the openness has my self consciousness creeping up. Im think to myself, that sucks for us out of shape folks. Not that anyone even cares what I look like when Im working out. :p

Very nice new machines. I hopped around on a few different cardio machines. The treadmill fitness test said I did POOR! lol But it felt good to be running again :) It will be nice to get back into a routine. The classes wont start for another few weeks. They didnt have a schedule yet. Im curious on the classes, and think Ill definitely try out a few. They aren't additional cost so thats nice. And there is such a variety! The hours are really nice. I can squeeze in before work, after work, or late night to.

I felt so bleh when I was in there today. Bloated, overweight, out of shape. So it will be nice to start to feel some progress, and healthy again.