Why Is Change So Hard?

I have been working on change. Its a work in progress, and while Id like to think that Im moving forward...Im beginning to think Im just standing in place.

I know what I want. I know what I need to do to get there. Im even doing some of those things. But than I go back to old habits, and sabotage the change. So much like this picture I bounce between old and new, old and new, old and new. Its like Im in a game of ping pong. So why am I doing this? Why am I resisting? What am I scared of?

These are questions that have been racing through my mind for the last week. Change looks so promising. So pleasant. So where I want to be. But taking that leap feels like jumping into on coming traffic. I look at the old me and like the safety. Its comforting, and what I know. But at the same time its everything I dont want to be. It has this dark cloud surrounding it. I can see the pain and negativity smothering me. Why would I want to stay like that? Theres a part of me that is scared of taking the steps to a changed me and leaving all that "safeness" behind. Can I survive that in between period? What if its lonely? What if I feel like I made the wrong choices? What if I fail at change?

Isnt this crazy? Obviously Im unhappy with where or what I am, or I wouldnt even be thinking of change. I should want the best for me. To bring out the greatness in me. To become that person I know I can be. How do I get through this? How to I stop thinking, and start doing? When is enough? When do I finally say, this is it! I am taking the risk to becoming a happier me. If that means leaving things behind, than so be it. If that means feeling uncomfortable for a little bit, than so be it. Because I have to trust that when I get to that change...it will be so worth it.

I hope Im to that point soon. Because I dont want to play ping pong anymore.