The Year Of Me

When I was in therapy last week I was letting every emotion out. I felt like I was reaching a pretty low point. And just overwhelmed with life. I sort of talked a bit about this a few posts ago...

Well one thing that really got me down is I had to drop my classes this semester so we would have the extra money for all of Vinyls vet appointments. Ive finally registered for this interior design class, and was really looking forward to it. It was the one thing I was holding on to that I thought would bring some joy into my life. Don't get me wrong, there are many things great about my life....Grant, the dogs, etc. But I really needed something to help me personally. To light that fire in me again. So I was really looking forward to this. My therapist, being the smart woman she is, reassured me. She told me its okay you can take it next semester. For now you can just focus on you. On getting your health back on track, finding a new job, and just working on making you a happy, healthier person.

What a great concept, dont you think? How come it takes someone to say it to me to realize it than. LOL So since that session I have just gone with that idea. I asked her for some ideas for stress relief and she threw some great ones out there. First of all I have really made a commitment to myself to seeing this exercise and healthy eating thing through. Im sure it wont be all rainbows everyday, but Im going to enjoy the journey. Ive started looking at different classes or lectures that I could take, and found some great ones on mediation, goal setting, etc. I also decided to really seek out a grief support group. I found a 8 week series workshop, From Grief to New Hope, that starts in March. Im anxious about that one, but know it will be comforting to meet people who are going through what Im going through. Even if it is 2 years later. Im really putting myself first for once. Working on me. Because I deserve it.

Can this finally be the year of Melissa? As cliche as it sounds....Im in control of my own destiny. So it sure could be my year. Ive realized how unhappy I am, and how that reflects on different events in my life. I wish I was just more secure and happy with myself during my wedding. So I could of really embraced the whole process. I did enjoy it, but it could of been even better if I was in the right state of mind. I cant change the past, so all I can do is make improvements for the future!

I see some stepping outside my comfort zone in the future.....