If you see my motivation, can you tell her Ive been looking for her?

Seriously, Id like to know where it disappeared to. I have no motivation to work out lately. None at all. I want to, I need to. I want to get healthier and drop some weight, but I just cant get myself motivated. Its a little frustrating because I dont know how to get it back, except just do it. Ive been meeting my friend, Beck, three times a week to go running. Accountability. It works. Even in the monsoon rain we had last weekend we still rain. And I can feel it getting a little easier each time, which means we are making progress. But this week we cant get together, so what am I doing? Sitting my ass on the couch.

Ive been contemplating on doing a workout I found online. I got through on circuit and just stopped. I was to exhausted and it felt like one of those workouts that were just going to suck. What I really would like to do right now as well? Nap. I could probably go to bed right now and wake up tomorrow. Im sure lack of exercise is not helping me in that area. I have a million excuses, but I wont list them all.

Im fat. I need to lose weight. I know what I need to do. But I dont do it. This is a bitch.

I need to get back in the gym. I need to be consistent. And I need to find motivation. The sooner, the better. How...Im still trying to figure that out.