Lonely

Its just one of those days. One of those days when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and you try so hard to turn it around...but no matter how hard you try it just doesn't happen.

Work is just so stressful these days. Im thankful to still have my job, but the stress is still there. Especially being year end and all. Than of course money woes have gotten me down. Feels like I can never catch up on the bills. Not to mention trying to save for a wedding at the same time. I also think handling the holiday season is definitely getting me down. I really, really miss having a family. I just wish I had a mom and dad to turn to. I know no dad I cant change, and no mom is my choice. But it still is hard, and it still does hurt.

Im sure I could of reached out to someone today, but I didnt. Its still hard for me to do that sometimes. Maybe because I dont feel like I have "my person". That one person I could just go to and sit and cry and they would just sit there with me. We wouldnt need to talk. Just be there. That is besides Grant of course. Sometimes I need another outlet besides him. I have lots of great friends, but not that one best girl friend where I let all my guards down with.

So its been a feel sorry for myself kind of day. I have days like this, and they pass. What I would do just to have one more day with my dad. To just hang out. Go to the movies, grab some food, or go get some fries over in Windsor and sit down by the water. Just to have a day with him would be the best. I miss him so much. :(

I think Ill call it an early night. Tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully emotionally a better one.